I believe, if you desire to marry, God will provide a spouse. Do you believe that too?
What I have learned is God’s timing is always perfect… whatever your age.
Here are 5 steps I think will help you prepare for marriage:
1. Forgive and forget
Forgiveness is the key to healing and peace of mind. Anyone who has hurt you, mistreated you or didn’t really love you (it does not necessarily have to be an ex), ask God to help you to forgive them and to help you stop thinking about it. Likewise, if you have hurt someone, ask them for forgiveness.
Holding onto the past will keep you there and will not allow your wounds to heal. Unforgiveness can make you ill and hinder your prayers. You therefore owe it to yourself to forgive them or yourself and move on.
Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!
Isaiah 43: 18-19 (NIV)
2. Let go of the one who is not for you
It’s hard to let go of someone you have invested in, especially if you have a child with them. Deep down you know they are not ‘the one’ but you try to convince yourself that they will change; that one day they will see your worth and treat you better.
You might be thinking ‘I don’t want to start again’, ‘I don’t want to be lonely’, or ‘This might be my last chance’. But anyone you don’t let go of who you know God warned you away from, will only delay who he is trying to send you. It’s hard but you need to break all contact with that person and that includes following them on social media. God is telling you to let go and to trust Him. Do you trust Him? Then let go of any thoughts of marrying this person and trust God.
Don’t continue a relationship thinking that your love will change them.
3. Focus on God
Sometimes, if we are not careful, our desire to marry can outweigh our desire to stay close to God and we find ourselves guided by our flesh rather than the Word of God. There is therefore the risk of idolising the idea of a relationship, rather than pursue a relationship that brings glory to God.
The Bible talks about the importance of always guarding our hearts. Know that God loves us more than we can comprehend, and no good thing will He withhold from us. He wants to give us His best. Make it your daily practice to spend time with Him and involve Him in everything you do. In the morning when you wake up give Him thanks and praise, and as you work, do so as unto Him. And remember that if we draw near to God (with a sincere heart), He will draw near to us. [James 4 v 8]. What a blessed way to live!
Whatever you do, do it all for the Glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10 v 31
4. Discover your purpose
God has a purpose for your life and ultimately that purpose will be to help or serve others. Our purpose is to glorify God by doing good that brings God honour. If you do not know your purpose and vision for your life, make it a priority to find out. Very likely it will be something related to whatever cause you are passionate about or the skills or talent that God has given you.
Carve out a great career for yourself. Start that business. Fulfil that dream! You are likely to attract similar like-minded single people.
“If I can help somebody as I travel along, Then my living shall not be in vain!”
Alma Irene Bazel Androzzo Thompson
5. Love yourself
Self-love is something you have probably heard a lot about. It goes hand in hand with knowing who you are and self-worth. God created you and what He created was good. Don’t compare yourself to others. You are unique – God made you the way you are and someone will love you for it.
Keep learning and developing. Love yourself just as the Lord loves you. Wait for the one who is a great match for you – God knows who that person is and He knows how to bring them to you.
Know who you are, like who you are, be who you are.
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