No one likes to think they’re desperate; it conjures up all sorts of negative images.

Desperation is easy to spot in others if they’re literally throwing themselves at someone or calling them for the umpteenth time because they haven’t returned their call. If you’ve seen this played out on screen, you’ve probably screamed ‘No!’ ‘What are you doing?’ ‘Where’s your self-respect?’

How to avoid desperation:

1 Seek God before accepting a date

Avoid saying yes to someone who asks you out on a date without first assessing their character; and more importantly, before asking God. The same applies if you’re planning on asking someone on a date. Get to know them first through online dating or meeting up with a group of friends.

If you do decide to accept the date, don’t assume your date is the person for you, just enjoy the date and each other’s company. If, however, after a couple of dates, you realise they are not for you, you and your date would have hopefully had a wonderful time and can both agree not to take it further. By praying, you know that whatever the outcome, you have put it in God’s Hands.

2 Don’t compromise your standards

Are you really willing to put up with someone who lets you down, turns up late, is emotionally immature, forgets to call or breaks their promise?

Never make excuses for bad behaviour. What you might be willing to overlook at the beginning, because they’re so cute, may become unbearable later. God has someone for you who you will never need to lower your expectations or standards for.

3 Don’t convince yourself it is God’s will

Sometimes out of desperation you can convince yourself God told you to date/marry a person. That is all well and good when this has been confirmed and the person shows good character. But it is problematic when your gut feeling tells you something is not right.

Don’t ignore the red flags that God is showing you. Don’t continue with the relationship convincing yourself that God will change them. God will let you know if the person is right for you.

Remember, God has not forgotten you. Put God first, guard your heart and pursue God’s will in your life (check out ‘5 Steps To Prepare For Marriage). Be fulfilled and happy being single, then you’ll be able to avoid the trap of desperation and instead receive God’s best for you!



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What other signs do you think smacks of desperation? Comment below.